I wonder what it’s like to be normal. To have boundless energy, or at least enough to get things done that need doing with some left over. My battery has always run out long before anyone else’s. I was always lagging behind, struggling to keep up and barely able to function yet never knowing why.

All the tests came back “normal”, of course. Unless I was sick with some sort of infection, which I had many as a kid. As an adult not so much, thank goodness. In fact, I’m hardly ever sick with anything and it’s been that way for decades now.

Well, except for mast cell symptoms. I’m sick with those 24/7. Living just a few pills or potions away from mast cell hell forces me to live in the moment and not think too far ahead, unless it’s to plan life around my next dose. I always need my next dose. Like a heroin addict, except for me it’s quercetin, Benadryl, and a hand full of other mast cell stabilizers that thankfully work for me.

They keep me alive and relatively functional, but I could use some more energy. Especially this time of year. For some reason as we move into spring I start really struggling and will have to adjust my meds to cope. At least now I know what the heck I’m dealing with and thank goodness there are medicines that help immensely, many of them OTC.

Still, sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just decided to go cold turkey on them all at this point. I know if I miss two or three doses I am spiraling back to where I was a few years ago, when things were pretty bad, but I haven’t had a full blow mast attack in a long time. I wonder how long it would take.

I wonder why I wonder that, as it was the worst thing imaginable, at least to me. Having things under control does put me in a weird spot though as I’m still disabled but I am thankfully quite able at the same time. It’s very precarious.

Okay, I am rambling. Hopefully I’ll remember to update this blog more often, things are a bit crazy here. You can read all about what I have to do in order to keep my diet clean for my mast cell activation syndrome by clicking over to http://emptynesthomesteading.com. That’s my main blog that I try to update daily, mostly so I’m not just rambling about being sick.

Being in mast cell hell.

Uggghhh.